What is all this business with being back ‘n the groove anyway? What does it all mean? As women, as moms, & as spouses/partners, how do we define a space for us? How do we know when that space is in our groove? Sometimes, as moms, we spend too long in one space, and we need to find our groove in a new space – whatever that is…it is a new realm where we feel great…maybe even groovy.
Whether we work outside the home, inside the home, or stay-at-home, the life cycle is continually on the move for moms. We are masters of multi-tasking and our skill-set is constantly being refined and updated NO matter what we do professionally or personally. I remember a few years ago, over cupcakes and coffee, a good friend told me she was going back to work part-time. It was the right time for her and she discovered her groove excellently! I always admire how she makes it all happen….kids, husband, work, fitness, time for friends. A constant reminder to me and all of us that life is fluid in nature, and with each phase, we redefine the groove.
List 1 –
Yesterday I thought it was grilled cheese day at school, and I sent my 7-year-old to school without a lunch.
Last night I went to brush my teeth, and we were out of adult toothpaste (kid’s toothpaste is awful).
Yesterday I skipped my workout, so I could enjoy a haircut in the middle of the day.
Last night I went to sleep with the dishwasher clean and full AND dirty glasses in the sink.
After a long, hard winter that included my mom having major back surgery, losing my father-in-law, ongoing struggles with work/life balance, & a lot of cold weather, I really needed a little lift in my spirits. Hence the carb overload this morning.
I must say that my day yesterday was a huge boost! Yesterday was a simple day, yet just what the doctor ordered for me. Sometimes all we need is a little regular routine to feel back in the groove. When life gets too hectic, and we stray too far from our sense of balance…..a little sense of “normalcy” (what is that?) is the glue that puts it all back in order. Nothing super special, just good old-fashioned life.
I had several blog posts brewing in my mind for this week; my outlines were laid out and I was ready to go; and then shit happens. For the last 2 weeks, my adorable, fun-loving, caring father-in-law has been in the Intensive Care Unit fighting for his life. It has been a roller coaster of an affair with many ups and downs, and I have been treading water as fast as I can in order to keep up with everything. After all, I am a mom, wife, daughter-in-law, daughter, mompreneur, advocate for other moms & entrepreneurs, and community member. Sleep is in limited supply, but I have stayed up to date with my boys’ homework and science fair project, cheered on their team at basketball practices, cooked dinner, walked the dogs, participated in committee meetings, made some unreal progress with the prototype, and stayed on target with my blog and my weekly blog at StartupNation while praying for my father-in-law.
A few weeks ago I wrote about paying it forward, and I proposed that all of you should make your own pay it forward list. Well, my list keeps growing, and I keep challenging myself to think of something really creative to do with it (probably a vlog is best — which is why I more than likely keep putting it off). As the list keeps accumulating, it occurs to me that I really have not one but two pay it forward lists. A personal and professional one….yes, there is some overlap, but really there is room for two lists. While the professional pay it forward list continues to grow, today is a toast to the personal side.
In October, 2010, I basically woke up deciding to chase a dream, become a mompreneur, take a spark of an idea to market, and blog about the entire journey. This came as a BIG SHOCK to my family and friends. My family never saw me being an entrepreneur (I was a social worker turned stay-at-home-mom for 10 years) let alone many of them never heard of a blog! I am sure that my friends were equally surprised at my decision to follow an idea to market, or that I even had an idea that I wanted to bring to fruition. Needless to say, there is a group of peeps that jumped on board and amazingly supported me. That is how I came up with the idea for pay it forward part 1&1/2. This seemed logical to me since pay it forward part 2 is a list of those that have mentored and helped me, and in between the mentors and me is my first line of defense — friends and fam.
I’ve developed a new philosophy… I only dread one day at a time. ~Charlie Brown by Charles Schulz
A few weeks ago, I had some time to sit down with a mom-to-be, Jenny, and chat about what is on her mind. Due in April, this mom-to-be expressed two emotions – anxiety and excitement. The two feelings were very intertwined – there was excitement over the anxiety and anxiety over the excitement. Most of Jenny’s emotions center around the “unknown.” She was both nervous and intrigued (a bit) about the unknown.
Obviously, the baby-to-be would change Jenny and her husband’s lives. It is impossible for them to imagine what will happen to their current routine, existence, and established patterns. I did not want to spoil the surprise for Jenny, and it sort of is unofficial “mom code” to not tell. If we told new moms what to expect, it would strip them of all the crazy emotions that we went through. That would be unfair!
All this fear, anxiety, and excitement got me thinking……are these themes that cycle through a woman’s lifetime? I am definitely experiencing high anxiety over my entrepreneurial vision; forging ahead with my career while still doing everything I did before (nuts); leaving the fam to go to Spark and Hustle in L.A. for a few days; my mom’s recent surgery and ever-present recuperation; and who can forget how my week will go off its chartered path because of the impending snowstorm. Don’t get me wrong – there is definitely some thrill at the core of this, but right now it is manifesting itself as anxiety.
**editor’s note – I have a background in clinical social work, so every now and again – I have to throw out a term like “manifesting.”
Bckngruv-Readers – I am a planner (I know – no surprise to any of you). I like to map everything out, make lists, deadlines, timelines, and I could go on and on. Sometimes, this does not work out. There are times when everything is just too chaotic, to make exact flight plans (I like traffic metaphors – read this for more). However, it occurs to me that during these particular times when life is crazy and chaotic and so much is unknown, I tend to accomplish a great deal. I run around like a hurricane and just start cramming everything in to the 23 & 1/2 hours of the day that I have.
When I started writing the Backngroovemom Blog, I was not sure what direction it would take (I know – red flag). Now that the future of Backngroovemom is becoming clearer (very exciting details at a further date), the one point that remains clear to me is Backngroovemom is/was not a place for hubby obsessing. By hubby obsessing, I mean gushy, mushy, cutesy anecdotes about the hubs AND no hubby bashing. I have never been one for anything cutesy and this was a blog about mommies getting their groove back, therefore hubby bashing just seemed counterproductive.
All this being said, I could not help but to wonder this weekend “Does Backngroovemom equal Out-of-Groove-Dad”? I decided to spend some time thinking about this question and blogging my thoughts. For the small group of you who know my hubby, you know that he does his absolute best to stay out of social media…..could be interesting! When googling out-of-groove, I did not know whether I would find my husband’s picture (turns out that I did NOT), but I did come across this funny video of the Penguins of Madagascar being “out of groove”. Watch this – I will explain later…..
this post appeared on www.thenewperfect.com – thanks for letting me be a guest blogger for a day!
For most people, falling leaves symbolize that winter is approaching.
But this is not just any winter for me. This winter marks a DECADE that I have been “home” with my kids. While this time has been amazing and exhausting, it is a period of time that will always be special to me (clichéd, I know — forgive me).
As the end of this decade approaches, I have come to realize that soon my boys will be making their own plans, studying with friends, and enjoying their interests with their peers. I can’t help but wonder, “Where does this leave me?” As I consider what options might be available to me for re-entering the working world, I have never felt so isolated. I often wonder if there are other moms out there who are feeling the same way.
Recently, I sent a text to a close friend that went something like this: “I am in such a panic. I have to get a career.” My friend, who is a career mom, wrote back: “I am in a panic that I should quit every day.” These two very different viewpoints made me think that there must be some way for moms to come together to help one another.
The last ten years have been an amazing ride while staying home with my 2 boys, 3 dogs and 1 husband. Holding a Master of Social Work definitely eased the pain and aided the situation often. As my oldest son approaches double digits, small little thoughts start to sneak into my head….What will I do when the boys have their own teenage lives? Will I have any other accomplishments? Did I really want to go back to social work or am I more creative? I have this teeny, tiny creative idea, but not really sure how to execute. And, then something happened in Vegas.
Surely – you are bewildered. Let me explain. I went on an adult getaway to Las Vegas, and decided to try my luck at some outdoor gaming. As usual, the people around the table became fast friends, and I was excitedly retelling the story of seeing Steve Wynn and Tony Robbins the night before. The guy to my right did not know who either of those people were. The guy to my left was from Michigan and told me he ran a web site, StartupNation.com. I dismissed the information and played my hand.
Later, StartupNation piqued my curiosity. Turns out, StartupNation was just what I needed to light the fire.
This is my adventure. After 10 years of domestic goddess duties, volunteering, & consulting for free – can I make a comeback? Can I get my concept off the ground? Who will help? Who will support? All that remains to be seen.