What is all this business with being back ‘n the groove anyway? What does it all mean? As women, as moms, & as spouses/partners, how do we define a space for us? How do we know when that space is in our groove? Sometimes, as moms, we spend too long in one space, and we need to find our groove in a new space – whatever that is…it is a new realm where we feel great…maybe even groovy.
Whether we work outside the home, inside the home, or stay-at-home, the life cycle is continually on the move for moms. We are masters of multi-tasking and our skill-set is constantly being refined and updated NO matter what we do professionally or personally. I remember a few years ago, over cupcakes and coffee, a good friend told me she was going back to work part-time. It was the right time for her and she discovered her groove excellently! I always admire how she makes it all happen….kids, husband, work, fitness, time for friends. A constant reminder to me and all of us that life is fluid in nature, and with each phase, we redefine the groove.
Here on Back’NGrooveMom, I am always open and honest with you, my readers, regarding my transition and the absolute craziness of being a mom and a mompreneur. As I embark on some changes and additions on the site, I wanted to share a really special story with you all. Back’NGrooveMom is a place for all moms who need to jump-start their groove whether it be right after baby #1 or after years of staying-at-home.
Having a baby, becoming a mom, and balancing it all with a career is an extremely difficult task on its own. Coupled with postpartum depression, all of the aforementioned can seem nearly impossible. We often keep postpartum depression very quiet and private, but today’s featured mom bravely describes her transition with baby #2, postpartum depression, starting her own business while working, and finding her groove all over again!
List 1 –
Yesterday I thought it was grilled cheese day at school, and I sent my 7-year-old to school without a lunch.
Last night I went to brush my teeth, and we were out of adult toothpaste (kid’s toothpaste is awful).
Yesterday I skipped my workout, so I could enjoy a haircut in the middle of the day.
Last night I went to sleep with the dishwasher clean and full AND dirty glasses in the sink.
A few weeks ago I wrote about paying it forward, and I proposed that all of you should make your own pay it forward list. Well, my list keeps growing, and I keep challenging myself to think of something really creative to do with it (probably a vlog is best — which is why I more than likely keep putting it off). As the list keeps accumulating, it occurs to me that I really have not one but two pay it forward lists. A personal and professional one….yes, there is some overlap, but really there is room for two lists. While the professional pay it forward list continues to grow, today is a toast to the personal side.
In October, 2010, I basically woke up deciding to chase a dream, become a mompreneur, take a spark of an idea to market, and blog about the entire journey. This came as a BIG SHOCK to my family and friends. My family never saw me being an entrepreneur (I was a social worker turned stay-at-home-mom for 10 years) let alone many of them never heard of a blog! I am sure that my friends were equally surprised at my decision to follow an idea to market, or that I even had an idea that I wanted to bring to fruition. Needless to say, there is a group of peeps that jumped on board and amazingly supported me. That is how I came up with the idea for pay it forward part 1&1/2. This seemed logical to me since pay it forward part 2 is a list of those that have mentored and helped me, and in between the mentors and me is my first line of defense — friends and fam.
At the end of 2010, many of my fellow women bloggers wrote fabulous bucket lists of what they wanted to do in the upcoming year. I was not that organized at the end of the year, and I was trying to avoid writing about new years resolutions in general. I did think about 2011 in terms of what I wanted to do in abundance, but now I have my bucket list!
On the previously mentioned lists, I added what I wanted to do in the comment section on several. At the top of my wish list for 2011 was taking my mom to Vegas. With so much going on, why would this be at the top of my list? Well, you have to read my list to find out!
When I started writing the Backngroovemom Blog, I was not sure what direction it would take (I know – red flag). Now that the future of Backngroovemom is becoming clearer (very exciting details at a further date), the one point that remains clear to me is Backngroovemom is/was not a place for hubby obsessing. By hubby obsessing, I mean gushy, mushy, cutesy anecdotes about the hubs AND no hubby bashing. I have never been one for anything cutesy and this was a blog about mommies getting their groove back, therefore hubby bashing just seemed counterproductive.
All this being said, I could not help but to wonder this weekend “Does Backngroovemom equal Out-of-Groove-Dad”? I decided to spend some time thinking about this question and blogging my thoughts. For the small group of you who know my hubby, you know that he does his absolute best to stay out of social media…..could be interesting! When googling out-of-groove, I did not know whether I would find my husband’s picture (turns out that I did NOT), but I did come across this funny video of the Penguins of Madagascar being “out of groove”. Watch this – I will explain later…..
All over twitter and fb, there are wishes, hopes, dreams and expectations for 2011. Truthfully, I am just hoping to survive winter break…just kidding! I am hopeful that my “braduct” (thanks JB for coining that term) will evolve from an idea into a prototype, and then, of course, a useful braduct that all women NEED to buy. I have a rough outline of how I am going to get there, but I still have many unanswered questions.
The most difficult piece for me is that those questions will more than likely be left unanswered until 2011. I have spoken about it before, patience is something that I am learning. With that, I am also learning to prioritize differently and, occasionally, lower my expectations for myself.
This week has been lonely without “prototype guy”. “Prototype guy” is visiting family for the holidays, and I cannot begrudge him that. BUT, I miss him! We were on such a fabulous creative roll before he left. Who would have thought that we could have such a great time playing with bras in a purely platonic, utilitarian way? My 2011 expectation is that we can pick up where we left and continue on that roll.
You know how you can tell someone is a true friend? They always tell you the truth, and they are not afraid to point out when you have made a mistake. Last week, in an attempt to adequately describe at home moms’ frustrations with returning to the workplace, I made a big mistake. I overlooked the feelings of fellow working moms. Thankfully, my good friend, AG, kindly pointed this out to me. AG spoke about looking forward to my success. While in the same breath, she pointed out that although at-home moms feel like they have to sacrifice themselves when they go back to work, career moms have made various sacrifices for years. Thank you AG! That is a good friend. (If you want to follow the conversation, check the comments for the blog post entitled “mompreneurs do not have to sacrifice”).
The ultimate goal of the post was to push for greater respect between at-home moms and career moms, but it seems as though I undermined myself in the process. Thankfully, life is a learning curve, and I was able to see the holes in my argument after some help from a good friend. SO, I am rephrasing my argument a bit.
I believe the ultimate goal is collaboration between at-home moms and working moms. I spoke about it in my first blogging attempt – a mentorship opportunity between career moms and at-home moms. Can that exist?
I mentioned in an earlier blog that a few years ago, I applied to a job post for a hospital social worker. I was both enthusiastic and stunned when I was called for an interview. At this point, I had not been formally working for 7 or 8 years. I washed my hair, suited up, and headed to the interview. The hospital was part of a larger conglomerate, so the first part of the interview covered all the basics with H.R. You know all the general stuff: I had to work a year before accruing any vacation days; there was no flex time if I wanted to attend school programming for my children; parking was my own responsibility. A dream job – right? Ha!